Melbourne Story - 7.Dishwasher 2

It had been almost a year since I started working as a kitchen hand at the Italian restaurant — though in truth, most of my work was dishwashing.

When I first began in January 2006, I worked just five hours on Saturdays. But as the year went on, the restaurant became extremely busy. At one point, I worked as many as 55 hours a week. During that time, all I could think about was how desperately I wanted just one day off.

Then one day, one of the three young Chinese men working with us did his job carelessly and was scolded by the Head Chef. Half by choice and half by force, he quit. The other two complained to the Head Chef about his dismissal — and ended up being fired as well.

That was when I first realized how powerful the Head Chef’s authority was in the kitchen. Even the General Manager did not challenge his decision.

As a result, my working hours increased. But watching such events unfold in a foreign workplace did not feel good. Soon, new workers joined us. Although I had been there nearly a year, my English was still halting and limited. Yet there I was, giving instructions — in broken English — to new hires who, despite being new, spoke fluent English. One of them was a dark-skinned African man whose English was far better than mine. I sometimes wondered how I must have appeared in their eyes.

When the African worker first arrived, he seemed timid and quiet. But after exchanging a few words with me and realizing my English was not very strong, he began calling out loudly, “Martin~ Martin~,” joking around in a tone that seemed to say, “Is that all the English you’ve got?”

When I first started, I hadn’t dared to say a word and had simply washed dishes all day.

Another young man from Fiji also spoke English well and joked easily with the waitresses. But his work habits were careless, which bothered me. If my English had been better, I might have given him firm advice. Instead, when I tried to say a few words, he barely listened, and I could only swallow my frustration.

In this country, if you cannot speak English well, you have little choice but to lower your head — much like being unable to speak up in front of someone loud and dominant back in Korea. In my mind, I had many things I wanted to say. But the words would not come out quickly enough in English. Translating Korean thoughts into English before speaking was enough to make me feel as if I would burst.

(Back when I worked at a company in Korea, at least no one said I was bad in the in-house English conversation class…)

During large functions, when serving group guests, the Head Chef, two cooks, and I would stand in a line. Using tongs — here they call them “tongs” — we placed potatoes, pumpkin, sautéed vegetables, and roasted meat onto each plate, passing them down the line. Across from us stood the waiters and waitresses, handing the plates out. They would joke with each other and laugh.

Even after nearly a year, I still could not understand most of what they were saying. So I stood there silently, placing potatoes onto plates with a blank expression.

Imagine that scene for a moment. How foolish I must have looked in their eyes.

When your English is weak, you are not easily treated as a colleague but more like a subordinate. Even if they had no such intention, there were times I felt that way.

To those considering immigration: no matter how excellent your technical skills may be, if you cannot express yourself to your employer in English at least at the level of a local high school graduate, you may inevitably be treated as less. You must cling to English as if your life depends on it.

And yet here I am saying this, nearly twenty years after immigrating, still unable to fully understand or speak well. Ultimately, that may be my own laziness.

If I may offer an excuse, I immigrated at the age of forty-nine and worked among colleagues in their twenties and thirties. Naturally, the range of conversation narrowed, and I spoke less. Even though I worked long-term in foreign-run businesses, my English did not improve dramatically.

Still, if you can manage English reasonably well, finding a job here is not particularly difficult. When people in Korea ask friends abroad, “You’ve been there three years — your English must be good by now, right?” think about the reaction they usually receive.

Three years is nowhere near enough.

I consider myself truly fortunate. Even though English is essential for a kitchen hand, I sent out dozens of resumes and cover letters by email without any response. Then finally, one place said, “Let’s give him a trial.” That opportunity allowed me to prove myself physically, and somehow I have continued ever since. My wife also says I am lucky.

At the end of each week, when I looked at the following week’s schedule, if I was rostered for only three or four days, I would feel disappointed — “Next week’s pay won’t be much.” But when I was scheduled for a full week, I felt reassured. Yet when the work became exhausting and I grew irritable, I would think about how, at my age, I was working alongside much younger people and suffering quite a bit. The human heart is truly inconsistent.

About ten months after immigrating, I enrolled in a government-funded multicultural English program run by the immigration department. It was five days a week, four hours a day. My classmates came from China, India, Thailand, Hungary, Africa, Egypt, Lithuania, Vietnam — a truly diverse group.

After studying English until noon, I would go to work and labor from 6 p.m. until 11 p.m. or midnight. At first, the fatigue built up so much that I sometimes slept until 10 a.m.

The total 510 hours of English education — funded by the mandatory education fee paid during the immigration process — became, at my age, an experience that truly nourished my blood and flesh.

디시와셔 2

이탈리아 레스토랑에서 키친핸드로 일한 지 거의 1년째, 말이 키친핸드지 일의 대부분은 디시와셔였다.2006년 1월, 레스토랑에서의 첫 시작은 토요일 하루 5시간부터였다. 그러다 1년이 다 되어갈 무렵에는 그야말로 무지하게 바빠져, 일주일에 55시간을 일한 적도 있다. 정말 그때는 하루라도 쉬었으면 하는 생각밖에 없었다.

그러던 중 함께 일하던 중국 청년들 세 명 중 한 명이 일을 삐딱하게 했다가 헤드 셰프(Head Chef)에게 꾸중을 듣자, 자의 반 타의 반으로 그만두어 버렸다. 그런데 나머지 두 명이 해고된 그 한 명을 두고 헤드 셰프에게 컴플레인을 하다가, 그들 역시 함께 해고되고 말았다.

주방에서 헤드 셰프의 권위가 그렇게 센 줄은 그때 처음 알았다. 총지배인(General Manager)조차 거기에 이의를 달지 않았다.

덕분에(?) 내 일하는 시간은 늘어났지만, 외국인 사회에서 그런 일을 지켜보는 기분은 결코 좋지 않았다. 최근 새로 들어온 친구들과 다시 함께 일하게 되었는데, 아직 영어도 떠듬거리고 잘 알아듣지도 못하는 내가, 들어온 지 1년이 되었다고 얼굴은 비록 까무잡잡한 흑인이지만 영어에 능숙한 신입들에게 이것저것 시키며 되지도 않는 소리를 지껄이고 있는 형국이니, 그들 눈에는 내가 어떻게 비쳤을지 모르겠다.

까무잡잡한 아프리카 친구는 처음 들어왔을 때는 주눅 들어 일하다가, 나와 몇 마디 나누더니 내 영어가 신통치 않은 걸 알고는 “마틴~ 마틴~” 하며 큰소리로 농담을 걸기 시작했다.“너 영어가 그것밖에 안 되냐?” 하는 듯한 말투였다.

나는 초년 시절에 끽소리도 못 하고 하루 종일 설거지만 해댔었는데 말이다……

피지에서 온 또 다른 시커먼(?) 친구도 영어는 잘해서 웨이트리스들과 곧잘 농담을 주고받았지만, 일처리가 산만해 신경이 쓰였다. 내가 영어를 잘했더라면 따끔하게 충고라도 했을 텐데, 몇 마디 해도 듣는 둥 마는 둥이라 속으로만 끙끙 앓고 있었다.

아무튼 이 나라에서 영어를 못 하면, 한국에서 큰소리치는 놈 앞에서 찍소리 못 하듯 꼬리를 내릴 수밖에 없다. 머릿속에서는 이렇게 저렇게 말하고 싶은데, 도무지 영어가 탁탁 튀어나오지 않는다. 한국말을 영어로 번역한 뒤 입으로 내보내려니 속이 터질 지경이다.(한국에서 회사 다닐 때는 그래도 사내 영어회화반에서 못한다는 소리는 안 들었는데…….)

펑션(행사장 룸)에서 단체 손님들에게 음식을 서빙할 때면, 헤드 셰프와 쿡 두 명, 그리고 내가 한 줄로 서서 접시에 감자, 펌킨(단호박), 야채볶음, 로스트(구운 고기) 등을 집게(여기서는 ‘텅’이라 부른다)로 하나씩 올려놓고 옆으로 패스한다.맞은편에 서 있는 웨이터나 웨이트리스에게 접시를 넘기며 그들은 서로 농담을 주고받고 낄낄 웃곤 한다.

그때 나는 1년이 다 된 지금까지도 그들이 무슨 말을 하는지 거의 들리지 않아, 무표정한 얼굴로 감자나 열심히 접시에 올리고 있다.여러분은 그 모습을 한번 상상해 보시라. 그들 눈에 내가 얼마나 우스꽝스러워 보였을지……

영어를 잘 못하면 같은 직원이나 동료로 대우받기보다는 하인 취급을 받기 쉽다. 설사 그들이 그런 의도가 없었다 하더라도, 그렇게 느껴질 때가 종종 있었다.

아무튼 외국으로 이민 가려는 분들은, 본인이 아무리 좋은 기술을 가지고 있다 하더라도 이민 가서 고용주에게 자신의 의사를 그 나라 중·고등학교 졸업자보다 못한 영어로 어설프게 표현한다면, 그들 이하의 대접을 받을 수밖에 없다는 사실을 명심해야 한다. 영어에 죽자사자 매달려야 한다.

이렇게 말하고 있는 나 역시 이민 온 지 20년이 다 되어 가지만, 아직도 잘 들리지도, 잘 말하지도 못한다. 이는 결국 게으름 탓이리라.

조금 변명을 하자면, 당시 49세에 이민 와 20~30대 젊은 직장인들 사이에 끼어 일하다 보니 자연스럽게 대화의 폭이 줄고 말수가 적어져, 외국인 업소에서 장기간 일했음에도 영어 실력이 크게 늘지 않았던 측면도 있다.

아무튼 영어를 웬만큼 하면 이곳에서 직업 구하기는 그리 어렵지 않다. 한국에 있는 분들이 외국에 있는 친구들에게“한 3년 가 있었으니 영어 꽤 하겠네?”라고 물어보면, 대부분 어떤 반응을 보이는지 한번 떠올려 보시라.그 정도로는 어림도 없다.

나는 정말 행운아인 것 같다. 키친핸드는 영어가 필수인데도, 잘하지 못한 상태에서 이메일로 레쥬메(이력서)와 커버레터를 수십 번 보냈지만 아무 소식이 없었다. 그러다 딱 한 곳에서 “시험 삼아 써 보자”고 한 것이 계기가 되어, 몸으로 때우며 지금까지 온 것 같다. 아내도 나를 보고 행운아라고 했다.

일주일 일을 마치고 다음 주 스케줄표를 볼 때, 3일이나 4일만 잡혀 있으면‘다음 주급은 별 볼일 없겠구나’하며 서운해하다가도, 어떤 주는 일주일 내내 꽉 차 있으면 마음이 든든해진다. 그러다 막상 일이 많아 피곤하고 짜증이 날 때면, 이 나이에 한참 어린 애들과 함께 일하며 참 고생하고 있다는 생각이 쑥쑥 올라오니, 사람 마음이란 참으로 간사하다. 

이민 온 지 10개월쯤 되었을 때, 이민성에서 주관하는 다국적 대상 영어교육에 참가했다. 주 5일, 하루 4시간씩 공부하는 과정으로, 반에는 중국, 인도, 태국, 헝가리, 아프리카, 이집트, 리투아니아, 베트남 등 정말 각양각색의 사람들이 모여 있었다.

낮 12시까지 영어 수업을 받고, 오후에 일터로 가서 저녁 6시부터 밤 11시나 12시까지 일하고 집에 오니, 처음에는 피로가 쌓여 오전 10시까지 자기도 했다.총 510시간의 영어교육(이민 신청 시 의무적으로 납부한 교육비로 제공됨)은, 내게 이 나이에 정말 피가 되고 살이 되는 소중한 경험이었다.